I Fell Off The Wagon

Hello readers. It’s been a little over two years since I’ve last posted. I’ve been on hiatus for far too long. While it’s difficult, I have to admit something to you all – I fell off the wagon.

Now I could make this a ridiculously long post, and go into exactly what happened in my life, making all sorts of excuses for why I gained about 100lbs back. That’s right, nearly 100lbs. A Certified Personal Trainer, one who had lost 160 lbs 5 years ago, gained a lot of it back.

To be honest, I had a lot of trouble with this. I was in denial for a long time. I just thought “Hey, it’s not such a huge deal. I’ll just get back on the wagon and drop it all again, no problem.” But that was the problem – I failed myself and forgot my own cardinal rule when it comes to weight-loss: always get back up ASAP. Well, ASAP wasn’t exactly ASAP for me.

Two years from my last post I managed to pack on this extra weight. I went from a relatively lean 220lbs to approximately 320lbs. I went through denial, then feeling like a failure and a hypocrite. I had inspired many of my family and friends with my own personal transformation before, and felt as if I let them down. I felt like a fraud. Who was I to have this Certificate saying I know so much about fitness that I can train others, yet I let it happen to myself again?

Here’s the thing that I’ve come to realize: it happens. It’s life. However, I am choosing NOT to stay down. I think that’s the critical part of not allowing failure to define you. There is a Japanese proverb that says “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” I’m standing up again.

There are a lot of things that I want to share with you all, not only to get it off of my chest and to help me stay accountable, but because I still feel that I can help at least somebody out there who is in the same position I am right now. Maybe you lost big and gained back. Maybe you’re still trying to figure out how to lose weight. I’ve been there, I’m back there. I know how you feel.

When I first started this site, it was after I had already dropped the weight. There weren’t many progress pics because I was too afraid to take them. I was ashamed of my body. Still am. So much so that it causes me great anxiety to take my shirt off anywhere, even at home. But I’m going to bare all this time. Well not ALL, but I’m going to take the shirtless progress pics so that you can see the transformation happen.

I’m going to share the journey with you all now. I hope for some, you will find inspiration to face your fears. To start your own weight-loss journey if that’s where you’re coming from. Or to just follow along, and see someone overcome being overweight. To see someone become a better version of themselves.

With that, I will say that I have lost close to 40lbs so far, but still have a long way to go. While not exactly a “Day One” picture, it will serve as my day one.

What I looked like before:

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… and now…

20160417_204447

 

It ain’t pretty, but it’s where I’m starting. 281 lbs. My day one of all of this. From now on, I’m welcoming you all in to this new journey.

To your health and wellness,

Martin Arroyo, CPT

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One thought on “I Fell Off The Wagon

  1. Thank you for being so open and transparent with sharing your journey. You’re providing such an authentic experience. When I’ve looked for support forums & blogs mostly everyone just seems to “have it together”. No mistakes… Everything is just perfect. For me it hasn’t been that way. My weight loss journey has been a challenge. I gain, I lose, I binge… It’s a cyclical emotional roller coaster. Your post has encouraged me to get back up and keep trying. Please continue to share your progress! “We can’t fail unless we quit”.

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